Toyota Nationals 2007 6th-9th April

[river]

Hi,

Hehehe, the rain won't worry me. That's why I'm taking the 'rolla 'cos if anything it will make it cleaner. I packed 4litres of el-cheapo oil. I think I can get there and back in a little under 3 litres, but it's best to make sure.

seeyuzz
river

[Alchemist]

I'm sad you arn't brining the other Celica River, it's dead sexy, really moves trying to keep up with Stitt and looks so good it should be illegal....I'm hoping to see you in a RA25 GT tomorrow, but if not, good to catch up anyway...

Anyway enough rambling from me, time for some sleep.

[Andrew162]

I'm packed, car's as ready as it can be (in the same boat as river with the oil though ) got some more goodies for it (Easter presents) and with the distance I'll be driving in a few hours, it doesn't make sense to put any more effort into the exterior of the car which can't be done at Dubbo instead. I'll have a waning-gibbous moon keeping me company for my drive down towards Kempsey for brekky, pick up another Toymodder along the way and head out along to Gunnedah and south to Dubbo. by the time the car gets there it'll be coated in bugs again and will need a wash and a Quik Detailing. looking forward to it, seeyuzz there.

now, time to get a bit of sleep....

[river]

Hi,

A "waning gibbous moon"!!!! I'll give you a moon if you;re lucky!

I'm not sure whether to rep you or slap you for that one!

Hmmm, must spread some love... looks like a slap to the head when I see you tomorrow.

waning gibbous f&*king moon... you poet you!!!

seeyuzz
river

[Omegaman]

finally started my RA28 after 4 years, if only it was last week. I would give my left nut (no' my spare carbies) to be on my way to dubbo today.
GOD SPEED BOYS, take lots of pics, please..

[RobST162]

I languish here at work dreaming of the kilometres slipping by at 110kph.... on my way to Dubbo

stay safe all.. yep, lots of piccies and good stories please!

[Esteban]

As do I, and I don't have any beer left either, what a tragic start to the weekend. Have fun in dubbo you lot!!

[pAuL]

i have plans to get there one day

next time, next time

[Omegaman]

sitting here watching the screen, doesn't anybody have a wirless internet on there laptop?
need pics of the dubbo turnout.......

Come on one of you must like cars and computers..

[Mos]

Unfortunately the phone line in the motel room didn't work, so this had to wait until the return to Sydney.
Sneak peak.


Thanks to Danny for convincing me at 1am on friday morning to come out to Dubbo (due to family commitments I needed to be back on Sunday).

Thanks to Grant for giving the opportunity to be more involved in the weekend (by judging part of the show'n'shine) and to Chuck for putting up with my wiring anality in the judging.
Thanks again to Grant and all for organising a kick ass event as usual!!!

It's interesting how social norms have evolved... the majority of cars (and drivers) remained parked for most of the free time, in contrast to some years ago where Police did not care that you were doing G-tech runs at night on empty roads just outside Dubbo....

Shame I couldn't stay for the remainder of the event. Good luck with the drags guys!

Mos.

[Rosey]

This is my choice of car of show. Look'in good Tweety...
Had a good day, pleased to meet some of you. Catch you next year with mine hopefully.

[river]

Hi,

Well, well and wella wella yuk yuk... like fuel through the venturi of a Solex, the hands of time move forward, and another Toyota Nationals has come, and is now all but gone.

Like last year we left around 9:30am for a solo-car trip to the western plains and home turf of the Donga tribe... to Dubbo.

But things were afoot. My tarot reading the previous night said that something blue and effeminate would cause troubles, but a red-headed woman of strong build and great beauty would fix things.

So, the matt blue AE71 ran on two cylinders - which is one less than normal and it was doing a Draven and had become very cranky. I remembered the card reading and realised that the AE71 was going to cause troubles. I then looked upon the garage float-charge junky... the RA25. Her strong red lines and fiercesome good looks beckoned me to load her with our kit and let her out of the garage for a few days. I bit my lip, fully knowing the disappointment on the faces of the Toyota-lovers who were boning up with the mere thought of seeing the mighty 'rolla.... but, as Riverina eloquently put it, "Fark 'em. We'll take the anti-christ instead!" And that we did.

Last year, when leaving my power antenna broke, and being as slack as dogs nuts it still hasn't been fixed. However, with some judicous use of clear sticky-tape I got the antenna up and was able to pick up some radio.

We hit the traffic again around Hazelbrook, where mums, dads, chinese and indian people all battled fiercly to determine who could merge the worse. It was a dead-heat, as all were guilty. The traffic thinned out after Leura. The lolly shop was closed, so I'm a tad confused as to why Leura is such an attraction on Good Friday, though I did hear that one of the marshmallow packets looked like the Virgin Mary and that is maybe why so many people were going there.

By this stage I was busting for a pee, and I was playing some old 70's MP3 CDs and enjoying the drive. We pulled into some football park near Lithgow and I emptied my colestomy bag. Lucky it was raining and Riverina couldn't determine if the splash marks on my pants were from me or the weather.

We made it to Orange, and just like last year as we pulled into the only petrol station that sells Ulitmate, I was confronted with a motley gang of Toyotas. Yes, we had caught up with the troop. After filling the tank I informed pretty-boy that Riverina and I need to stop for food. Last year I made her eat meat on Good Friday to prove that although she is Catholic, that God won't send down thunderbolts to destroy her. Yes, she agreed, but God will send a green RA25GT to take 1st place, she responded. But that was last year.. so I decided to try this faith thing and get her some fish for lunch. We found a little fish & chip shop in Orange, and despite the 40minute wait (which shows there's a strong christian faith in Orange) the food was really nice. We stopped down the road a bit, out the front of some farmers house, eating, listening to Pink Floyd, a few billies, a couple of lines, some back seat car sex, then I pee'd on his land and we left.

The convoy had forged onwards and we solo'd it to Dubbo. There wasn't much traffic and despite the cold air we still found the time to show a few moons to some Pommy gits driving a Winnebago just past Piss Flap Creek. We went through some village that was so small that I started a fart as we got there, and I was still going when we passed it.

We booked in and got the same bungalow we got last year, and I rebooked it for next year. It's not only a quieter unit to stay, but it also has a widescreen LCD with free porn movies, and the rear window faces next door to some house where you can see some chicks showering.

I met up with the gang, we we sunk some piss, took the piss, and rubbed our groins over all the hot Toyotas. The Canberra lads were there, and it's always great to meet up with those guys. Sadly, last year they went a bit troppo and set fire to the place, switched off the power, ram-raided the council chambers and spent most of their free time boinking the Abbo women out at West Dubbo. So there was a security patrol employed this time and that kept the Canberra lads in check, although we did get a complaint fom the elder of the Donga tribe, from West Dubbo, that the chicks were waiting for their annual boinking and there were no Canberrians to be seen. Fortunately riceburna was there, and word has it that he slipped out of the motel and slipped into the Donga womenfolk. In a few years when the New Scientist magazine shows some amazing red-haired indigenous people from West Dubbo, you'll know what happened.

A lot of us went to the local Maccas for breakfast before the Show and Shine. Most people, except the Supra lads, walked as it's only a 2 minute stroll. It was a marvellous sight to see a snake of Supras, head to tail, going whooooot-pssssssshhhh as they flexed their mechanical penile automotive extensions to the sleepy town. As they went past the locals locked their doors, shut their windows and peered out from a gap in the curtains. As one old timer said to me, "It used to be a nice town, but these fuckers really ruin the place". But, the kids were happy when they thought Ronals McDonald was coming to visit them.

On the otherhand, everytime a Canberra rego plate was spotted you could hear the doors and windows of West Dubbo unlock and open for business.

The Show and Shine was, as expected, a fine turn out. The cars were lined up in the various models and years. It was a treat for the eyes with all the different models, great paint jobs and fancy engines and phat wheels & tryes. Even Ronald McDonald brought his Supra along, but I was dismayed there were no free hamburgers.

And... no green RA25!!!! So, the fish thing on Good Friday really works.

At one stage, for the judging, they had to open the bonnet. The organisers this year used great foresight and had an ambulance and medical team on standy for the fainting women folk, and a mobile sperm-bank which was inundated by the men.

I got some good pics, but not as many as I'd like. I should of got more photos of the fine machines, but I got distracted by a couple of nice looking chicks and flattened my camera battery with a stack of up-skirt and down-blousse shots.

We had to put a Toyota sticker on our windscreens and it amazed me how many people put them on crooked or off-centre... cough.. Norbie.. cough. Oh, to YelloRolla's son.. I knew how the sticker came off... I was just testing you.. ok!

After the Show and Shine we had some spare time. As the Canberra lads and riceburna took a quick drive to West Dubbo, me and Riverina took the cameras and a sniper rifle and went to the Western Plains Zoo. Alas, there were no golf buggies available, so we went on safari in the 25. Although the zoo isn't cheap, we felt we got our money worth with Riverina popping 2 Zebra and Tiger, while I got a Giraffe and one of the Cheetahs. Not to be out done the car took out a Wombat on the way out.

I spoke to Grim who wore a tea-cosy on his head as he helped push my car backwards 'cos he's real bad at reversing. He wants to make me an angry 18R-G, tub the car, and make it look like the Hamburglar so I can compete with Ronald McDonalds car.

On Saturday night a bunch of us went to the Hogs Balls restaurant, where Lucida ordered some drink that took 15minutes to make, cost $20 and looked like a pint of jizz. Big Perm was there and.... WTF is with that jacket? Lucky I didn't see it at the Zoo or I would of shot it also! Big Josh didn't eat his vegetables and I will be informing his mum.

I met up with some people I knew, and met some I had only known via the forums. Mr 1J was there, and despite what everyone says, I don't think he's gay. XRPilot was there and so was that blue-eyed freek Peter Costello. He seems to pop up everywhere.

The Hoff was there, resplendid as ever as he glowed in the aura of being the 2nd most handsomest man in Toymods - and as Gold28 wasn't around it meant the Hoff was the best looking one there. However, a dispute ensured where DaveGT4 challenged the validity of his ranking. The Hoff wasn't angry, but sorely disappointed as he went back to his unit for another botox injection and to put more jizz through his hair.

Alas, this old man had to retire early as I couldn't stay for the drags and it was about the time the chicks next door take a shower - so I went back to my unit.

Due to family commitments we had to come home today, so I cannot report on the drags or the shannigans that happen on the Sunday night dinner, or the awards.

So, that's the wrap up and I'm sure other shit happened and we'll hear about it in the next few days as the lads sober up and try and remember what they did.

If you weren't there you missed out on seeing some fine Toyotas, you missed some great conversation, missed out on drinking piss, missed out on being a hooligan, missed out on fooling with the chicks from the Donga tribe, and all I can say is nah nah na-nah, I went to Dubbo and you didn't!

And finally, the most important thing I want to say is a big thank you to Grant and Gypsy23 (despite that wierd towel-hat she wore) and all the others who assisted in getting the Nats organised. I dip my hat to you and offer you my sincerest thanks and appreciation for once again organising a fine event. Thank you.

seeyuzz
river

PS: To those that I mention and offend... tough, and to those I did not mention.. tougher!

[Classique71]

im surprised you didnt have to re wax the red devil river , for all those young car excited gents loosing their pants on her fenders at the sight of the mighty 18rg ( i have pictures of it to keep me warm at night here in NZ )

Sounds like all was good and fun , maybe the gt4 lads can have their own " special stage Africa safari rally" thru western plains zoo next year - bonus points for cleaning up natives , or baboons ! )

Missed a great event by the sounds of it - hope to catch another some time soon!

[Omegaman]

Hey River,
Great run down on what where missing.
I few more porn pics of cars would've made my 2.00am visit to the forum more pleasurable.
What about some sloppy second pics of the donga tribe. No on second thought I'll pass that.

[Rosey]

Here's a local tribe member really appreciating Rods fine workmanship.