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Thread: New sticky idea...

  1. #46
    busy adding lightness Too Much Toyota MR22ZZ's Avatar
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    Default Re: New sticky idea...

    There is nothing wrong with a thread to discuss depression. It's a real issue that is extremely serious. The thread however would need to be well moderated to make sure people kept responses as real or positive as possible.

    I had a great relationship several years ago which turned sour due to her developing some severe depression and anxiety. We tried to carry on for as long as we could, I was being as supportive as possible, but it came to the point that she broke it off as she felt she was not being fair to me. Her's stemmed from several issues with her childhood and family situation leading to a poor self image and even resulted in her developing bolemia (she was not a large girl when we were together, only just over 50kgs and had dropped to below 40kgs when I bumped into here about a year after). I have no idea if she managed to get through it. I know she had 'recovered' from here bolemic issues and was putting weight back on at the time we met up again, she went through heaps of theropy and councilling including some attempted hypnosis to try and uncover the root to everything. The last I heard she had joined a strict religious group that required her to discommunicate with all her past friends, it's not for everyone, but I guess they were able to give the support and attention that she required to maintain a healthy mental state.
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  2. #47
    Don Mega Chief Engine Builder X kyle X's Avatar
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    Default Re: New sticky idea...

    I fully support the idea....having a sister that has lived with depression majority of her life and has had attempts at her life...

    I just know that on a open public forum that there is not enough respect/knowledge/maturity from all the members to let the thread be "safe"

    If we could trust every member to do the right thing I would be behind it....but someones life is far too risky to be put on a public forum

    Of course this is in my oppinion
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  3. #48
    anti blasphemy ! Carport Converter
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    Default Re: New sticky idea...

    nothing worse than getting the wrong advice or advice you didnt want to hear or if it was put to you the wrong way or even not getting any advice. Minds are all differant and even shrinks can only go off previous encounters with guess work. Most depressed people wont open up anyway.
    if you need to talk to someone, talk to someone dont wait for a message reply on a forum.
    i dont have a funny or cool signature.

  4. #49
    Opinionated Arsehole Backyard Mechanic
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    Default Re: New sticky idea...

    Edited post.
    Last edited by 4DaDrift; 07-08-2009 at 02:53 AM.

  5. #50
    doctor ed Conversion King ed's Avatar
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    Default Re: New sticky idea...

    while we're at it, can we have a sticky for drug and alcohol abuse? this accounts for a massive proportion of death under 40, and leads to massive comorbidities and social dysfunction. this forum is bang on the right demographic for people to feel they can openly talk about drug use, and we can help from grass roots/peer level intervention and guidance.

    also, so we're not being too exclusive, can we also have a sticky for underage pregnancy and abortion/termination. even though it would only act to help a few of our regular members, if we can ony help one person through this difficult period, wouldnt it be worth it?

    thanks for your consideration

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  6. #51
    I make people cry Chief Engine Builder Draven's Avatar
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    Default Re: New sticky idea...

    ^ ^ The wisdom and equal opportunity of this idea is undeniable.


    As has been said somewhere further up by Kirsty... there are other *much better* forums that already exist to talk about depression, AOD issues, and basically any time life gets tough.
    Opening a separate section here for that just seems.... well, pointless tbh. Are car enthusiasts with depression really a significant and different sub-category of everyone else with depression?
    http://www.toymods.org.au/forums/showthread.php?t=7465
    Quote Originally Posted by xero View Post
    and of course campbell newman's completely fucking everything he touches so badly that he should be called dick fingers.

  7. #52
    Toymods Board Member Domestic Engineer Kirsty2520's Avatar
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    Default Re: New sticky idea...

    Look, I'd be all for a thread for Mental health.....BUT.
    It's to hard to moderate,,, I know personally in my 6ish years of suffering depression that it has taken many different turns and the treatment is not always the same.
    Then you have to deal with peoples bad days and the things that make them happen to snap. It's FAR to hard to keep the thread on en even tone with everyone staying happy about it.
    You, yourself Neil have proven that you cannot be supportive of people without expressing all your own problems onto them in a manner that was not warrented or appropriate, then having a hissy fit when your told it's not right so how would you go in a thread like that???

    Ed,
    I personally think the drug and alcohol thread IS a good idea.... Not sooo sure on the other ones though. But I do know what your getting at
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  8. #53
    Lord of InterpretiveDance Chief Engine Builder tomvale13's Avatar
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    Default Re: New sticky idea...

    I think the wpmo thread already does the closest thing to achieving what we could try so hard to do anyways.

    People vent in there, some pat them on the back, others say "Hey - that's your fault, idiot!"

    And even though it's the wPMo thread, I still regularly see people post things in there that are getting them down and 90% of the time they get the feedback they wanted/needed/didn't know they needed.

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  9. #54
    Toymods Net Nazi Too Much Toyota river's Avatar
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    Default Re: New sticky idea...

    Hi,

    This is a car related forum. We talk cars and vehicle-related topics. That is what we are about and what we are here for.

    The Non-Car area is for those items that do not fall under the umbrella of vehicle information. It is a non serious section, purely in place to handle those topics that cannot fit elsewhere in these forums.

    We are not a social help line. We are not the centre for STD and other diseases. We are not an outlet for alcoholics, obesity, dwarfism, drug addiction, teen pregnancy, an abortion clinic, or any other social-eco-political-geo-whatever resource.

    We do not have the skills to effectviely handle the multitude of personal problems that affect people. You wouldn't post a car related problem in a Macular Degeneration forum, because that is not the place for it, and also I doubt you'd get a reliable or satisfying answer.

    Same goes here. This place is for cars and we can offer some good advice and assistance for them. But outside of that we are not experts and, as such, I advise anyone who seeks medical/mental etc advice to take it to a forum that specialises in those areas.

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  10. #55
    Toymods Vice President Chief Engine Builder TheToyman75's Avatar
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    Default Re: New sticky idea...

    Quote Originally Posted by tomvale13
    I think the wpmo thread already does the closest thing to achieving what we could try so hard to do anyways.

    People vent in there, some pat them on the back, others say "Hey - that's your fault, idiot!"

    And even though it's the wPMo thread, I still regularly see people post things in there that are getting them down and 90% of the time they get the feedback they wanted/needed/didn't know they needed.

    Dude,

    That is the most worthy thing I have seen you post in a long time.
    I think thats an awesome idea.

    As River has said, we are not the place, the people or the experts for what is requested in this thread. There are plenty of places that cater for it already and we don't go and talk about cars there.
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  11. #56
    Gaters gonna Gate Conversion King Stomps's Avatar
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    Default Re: New sticky idea...

    not to mention, the trouble with forums is that people regurgitate bullshit information as fact... everyone that has read something somewhere is suddenly an expert..

    in relation to cars its annoying.. when people just say.. well i heard from some guy that this is the way to do it..

    in relation to mental illness, its downright dangerous...

    Stomps

  12. #57
    Toymods Club Member #194 Conversion King Lambolica's Avatar
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    Default Re: New sticky idea...

    This was discussed at the Board meeting when it was first bought up, the Boards feeling are, that whilst it would be nice to offer a place for people to open up, the simple fact is the Maturity level of the forums makes that idea potentially more dangerous than good. This thread is a case point of really bad advice.

    The moderators are automotive minded, and may not be able to distinguish poor advice from the good in terms of moderating it.

    By the same token that ed touched on, such a thread would open the door to others posting alcohol abuse / domestic violence / sexual abuse etc, etc, etc all that are equally important social issues, however the moderation would be out of control, and none of the moderators are willing to look after such threads.

    Feel free however to have a link in you sig along the lines of " feeling down? is everything against you? are you depressed? visit < insert suitable forum/website here >

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  13. #58
    I make people cry Chief Engine Builder Draven's Avatar
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    Default Re: New sticky idea...

    I had about 0.5 seconds of considering volunteering to moderate such a thread... but no. People are much better served elsewhere
    http://www.toymods.org.au/forums/showthread.php?t=7465
    Quote Originally Posted by xero View Post
    and of course campbell newman's completely fucking everything he touches so badly that he should be called dick fingers.

  14. #59
    Underpowered Backyard Mechanic Moppitt's Avatar
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    Default Re: New sticky idea...

    I'm another on the Great idea but not going to work bandwagon.

    I had a gf with (remarkably) similar issues to Mr2zz'. The thing I realised was that knowing her better than anyone else in the world and even after my best efforts to understand those issues I really had nfi whats going on and had (have) less of an idea of what I should say or do about it. In spite of what are, prima facie, similar issues, Mr2zz (with all respect ) couldn't have hoped to give me useful advice on what to say to her for example, just as I wont give the same advice to others because every case is so unique. Justins (and others) comment about well intentioned but bad advice being dangerous is so, so, true.

    Lifelines great, I also have psych friends who volunteer there, headspace is also great if you're classed as "youth". I'm sure there are many others as well.

    All that been said, Lambo, I'm editing my signature now.
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